Put this on a birthday thread but I guess it should be here....or not.

Have you noticed that as you age your defecation times can sometimes also be a part of your sleep cycle? If this is happening to you, I would suggest the latest Senior Citizen aid right along with those weird ass bath tubs with doors. The OSHA approved and AARP recommended "LCR" (Lap Crap Restraint), often called the Lapper Crapper, can prevent a rude awakening on the bathroom floor. Get the model with the optional shoulder restraint.

Cletus' company, Crappers on Casters, has installed them in all of their portapotties with excellent results. They often have to set up there units on very unlevel ground and the belts have served them well. No more complaints from people being thrown out the door during a good healthy shit simply because they released their grip on the wall bar. One particularly rotund lady with a large firebox actually did a complete somersault as she crashed through the door and then slid down the hill face first with her ass bouncing high in the air. Quite a sight...........scared the hell out of two kids playing hopscotch on the shuffleboard court at the foot of the hill.

This device is available from Fly-By-Night Industries, one of America's Foremost Manufacturers. We have been making Foremost for years and now also have the new and larger Fivemost available. All of our products come with a money back guarantee. Simply return the unused portion of the product and we will return the unused portion of your money.



Spaw