My cousin Jim is a thumper... even in sandals. He's got BIG feet and they POUND the floor and he WAILS and plays the fiddle WAY too loud when he should not.

I said, one kitchen session, "Calm down man! Take it easy eh?"

He said, "I play like I fuck. Fast and loud."

I replied, "Too bad fer yer wife."

She was not amused.

Whether it is was my statement or his remains a mystery... >;-)