50 Ways To Toss Your Wicket

International Cricket's image has been tarnished recently with confirmation of match fixing by senior South African players.
With apologies to Simon and Garfunkel .

The problem is all inside your head, Hansie said to the team
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to toss your wicket.
He said it's really not my habit to call for three
I usually leave that to Jonty and he's not here now, is he?
So I repeat myself, at the risk of being cruel
There must be fifty ways to toss your wicket,
fifty ways to toss your wicket

Chorus:
Just an edge to the slip, Chip, open up bat and pad, Brad
Don't need to be coy, Roy, just try to smash Shane for six.
Get yourself stumped, chump, don't need to discuss much
Off a glove to the wickey, Lee, and get yourself free
(repeats 2x)

He said it grieves me so to see you in such pain (out there at the crease)
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
They said, we appreciate that, then would you please explain about the fifty ways
He said, why don't we all just sleep on it tonight (and tommorrow too)
And I believe, in the morning you'll begin to see the light
And then he hugged them and they realized he probably was right
There must be fifty ways to toss your wicket,
fifty ways to toss your wicket
Alex Welte

Found at:

http://www-aus4.cricket.org/link_to_database/INTERACTIVE/MAGAZINE/FEATURES/POETRY/index.html