"Sarcastic Remarks To Get You Through The Day"

And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

Do I look like bloody people person?

I started out with nothing, and still have most of it left.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'll put
shoes on my cats.

Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

Allow me to introduce my selves.

Suburbia: where they tear out the trees and then
name streets after them.

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

I have a computer, a vibrator, & pizza delivery. Why
should I leave the house?

It ain't the size, it's... no, it is the size.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Okay, okay, I take it back! UN-screw you!

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

I plead contemporary insanity.

Meandering to a different drummer.