This would have been a CRACKER of a TFTD.... but , yeah I know what you mean... some times we live too much in the physical world of jobs, flame proof suits, earning money, parachutes.. and dont "feed the soul" and it leads to burn-out, breakdown , and alcohol /drug abuse... but, you can and must do both too, and bringing up kids, earning a living, is going to come to an abrupt halt with that heart attack/breakdown that you may be angling for "Its mine ,I earned it and I am going to have it" not a great idea...or IMNSHO a very responsible way to live.