What I have, CLETUS, is the ability to discriminate between superficial dross and real value.

Here's a site yew should check out, son:

Make Love, Not Porn (Sex in the real world as opposed to the fantasy world of porn)

It's a site created by a woman, and she tells all the stuf yew should know. Yew'll find some real good info on the first page. Then use the Left or Right arrows to find the next page of real good info. That there Winona Judd will surely appreciate yew readin' up a bit on proper lovin' technique first so she don't hafta put up with all kinda weird stuff she don't really want from yew.