BOYS WANT SEX IN THE MORNING
Words and music by Andrew Ratshin
As sung by Uncle Bonsai on "Boys Want Sex in the Morning" (1986)

Boys want sex in the morning,
Sex in the morning,
When I'm not my best.
Boys want sex in the morning,
Petting and pawing,
Tearing at my breast.
Boys want someone who's winsome,
Someone to pin, some-
One to undertake.
Boys want someone to fall on
Someone to crawl on
Someone half awake.

Boys want sex in the morning,
Sex in the morning,
Covers at my knees.
Boys want rotten conditions,
Passive positions.
I am a trapeze.
Boys want someone who's sleeping,
Someone who's keeping
Nothing in too deep.
Boys want somebody first-hand,
Someone to burst and
Then go back to sleep.

There is nothing I like better
Than a jostle now and then,
With a hand under the sweater
And a back that starts to bend,
But before my eyes are open,
I don't want to have to hide
From a simpleton still poking
With a thimbleful of pride.

Boys want sex in the morning,
Sex in the morning,
Soiling the sheet.
Boys want sex while I'm yawning,
Suddenly spawning,
When I'm half asleep.
Boys want someone unconscious,
Somebody not just
Waiting for a thrill.
Boys want sex with surprises,
Sex with sunrises,
Someone on the pill.

There is nothing like a lover
Who can satisfy your needs,
And the joy when you discover
Just how often he succeeds,
But before my eyes can focus,
I don't need him to surprise
By descending like some locust
On a field of sleeping thighs.

Boys want sex in the morning,
Sex in the morning,
When I'm still not fresh.
Boys want something that strikes them,
Someone who likes them
Fondling their flesh.
Boys want someone to take and
Someone to break and
Comment on their size.
Boys want someone to prod and
Someone who'll nod and
Then just close her eyes.

[Is it an accident that this song has lots of feminine rhymes? I made sure to put the line breaks where you would notice them.

[The song is sung as a duet by the 2 female members of Uncle Bonsai (Arni Adler, and Ashley Kristen O'Keeffe) and was written by the one male member (if you'll pardon the expression – Andrew Ratshin).

[I have italicised the word "boys," to indicate the places where it overlaps the last syllable of the previous line.

[This song is also on Uncle Bonsai's album "The Inessential Uncle Bonsai" (1992). Three Weird Sisters also perform this song on their album "Rite the First Time" (2001).]