The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #141531   Message #3258459
Posted By: Ed T
16-Nov-11 - 06:29 PM
Thread Name: BS: Tiddlywinks: effete, jejeune, outre!
Subject: RE: BS: Tiddlywinks: effete, jejeune, outre!
Tuips for the woman, from the Victorian era:
Vapours and Hysteric Fits.
Some of the Symptoms are, a Thumping at the Heart, a Croaking of the Guts and a Fulness of the Stomach. She has a great Heaviness and Dijection of Spirit, and a Cloud seems to hang upon all her Senses. She is continually out of Humor, she knows not Why, and out of Order, she knows not Where. In the first place I would have her Stomach cleansed with a vomit of Indian Physic.
The rest of the cure can be preformed by an exact Observation of the following Rules: -
Endeavor to preserve a Cheerful spirit, putting the best Construction on Everybodys Words and Behavior.
Plunge three mornings every week into cold water, which will rouse the Sluggish Spirits surprisingly. Stir Nimbly about your affairs.
I forbid all sorts of Drams which will rise the Spirits only to sink them, nor do I allow one Pinch of Snuff or one drop of Bohea Tea, which makes people very Lumpish and Miserable. Nor must she eat one morsel of Beef which inclines People too much to Hang themselves. She must suffer none of the Disturbances and Disappointments of an Empty world to prey upon her Mind or ruffle her sweet Temper. She must be cheerful in Spite of a Churlish Husband or Cloudy Weather.

Hints for Gentlewoman at Table.
A Gentlewoman being at table abroad or at home must observe to keep her Body straight, and lean not by any means with her Elbows, or by ravenous Gesture discover a voracious appetite; talk not when you have Meat in your Mouth; do not smack like a Pig nor venture to eat spoonmeat so hot that the Tears stand in your Eyes, which his as unseemly as the Gentlewoman who pretended to have as little Stomach as she had Mouth, and therefore would not swallow her Peas by Spoonful, but took them one by one and cut them in two before she would eat them. It is very uncomely to drink so large a Draught that your Breath is almost gone, and are forced to blow strongly to recover yourself, throwing down your Liquor as into a Funnel is an Action fitter for a Juggler than a Gentlewoman. In carving at your own Table distribute the best Pieces first, and it will appear very comely and decent to use a Fork, so touch no piece of Meat without it.

To Extinguish Fire in the Female Dresses
So many fatal Accidents arise from light Dresses catching Fire no Manual for Females is complete without the following cautions.
1st. Let every Female mind be impressed that Flame tends always upward: that she will burn more rapidly if upright than if laid on the Floor.
2nd. Give instant alarm by screaming or pulling the Bell, (which is usually near the fire-place), but if possible avoid opening the door.
3rd. The Alarm should be given while the Female is rolling in the rug, tearing off the burnt clothes, or turning her clothes over her head.
4th. A Man may quickly strip off his coat and wrap it around a Female.
5th. If the Victim cannot save herself entire, let her protect her bosom and the face by crossing her hands and arms over these parts.
6th. A Piece of green or scarlet-baize called a Fire-extinguisher should be in universal Use in Sitting-Rooms and Nurseries, and its Name and use known, although it serve as a Table or Piano-forte Cover.
7th. Let the injured Person have cold Water plentifully pored over them if they cannot be immersed in water till Medical Advice is obtained.
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