A great lady advertised for two footmen for her household. Being a conscientious person, she decided to interview them herself.

When two friends applied, she asked them for their experience. One had worked for Lord Soso, the other for Sir John Wotsit Bt.

"Good experience indeed," she said. "However, as my footmen are required to wear traditional livery, including knee-breeches with white stockings, I hope you won't object to my looking at the calves of your legs to ensure they will look well."

The both obligingly rolled up their trousers.

"Very good," she said. "It only remains for you to show me your testimonials."

"If you hadn't been so bloody ignorant," said one to the other as they walked sadly away from the back door," we'd have got that job."

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