Bedtime Stories

by C H A R L E S   L .   M E E

Originally produced under the title of The Imperialists at the Club Cave Canem

PROLOGUE

The monologue Rindecella:

Rindecella was a gritty little pearl
who lived in a wottage in the coods
with her two sugly isters and her sticked wetmother.

Now her sticked wetmother made Rindecella do
all the wurty dirk around the house
like pining the shots and shans.
(Wasn't that a shirty dame?)

Well, one day the ping issued a kroclamation:
he said "my son the pransom hince wants all the giligible earls
to come to the palace for a drancy fess ball."

Well, of course, the sugly isters had drancy fesses
but Rindecella only had the wurty dags she worked in.
So along came the gairy fodmother, and wouched her with her tand,
and turned the wurty dags into a drancy fess,
and the hice into morses, and the cumpkins into a poach.

And said, "go to the palace and dance with the pransom hince
all night long,
but be sure and be home by the moke of stridnight."

So Rindedella went to the palace and danced with the pransom
hince all night long,
but at the moke of stridnight, she ran down the stalace peps,
and at the stottom pep, she slopped her dripper.

The next day, the ping issued another kroclamation:
he said, "my son the pransom hince wants all the giligible earls
to sly on the tripper."
Well, of course, when the two sugly isters slied on the tripper
it fidn't dit.

But when Rindecella slied on the tripper,
it fid dit.

And Rindecella and the pransom hince mot garried
and hived lappily ever after