Sage nearly splattered shortbread crumbs on her monitor when she read Mary's remark about Swanson TV dinners. She finished baking a batch of Bert's shortbread and was trying it with a mouthful of Scotch. Forgetting that Bert said a mouthful of cookie with a sip of Scotch. She'll feel better in the morning.

Knowing that the crowd at the Mudcat Christmas Tavern could do with some real gourmet holiday food, Sage brought in the famous cook, Dolla Peen, who cooks primarily with butter. Some of you may know her from her chocolate-covered stick of butter. She is in the kitchen basting a roast half-beef on a spit with a mix of garlic, secret sauce, and melted butter.