That's really special, Tami. Your nieces are very lucky to have such thoughtful aunt and uncle! We had a few lean years when my kids would make up little coupons good for chores, etc. to help their grandma out. It was always one of her favourite things to receive and the children felt good about it to.

I have another wonderful news story. Earlier this year, I was dying from an untreated medical condition. The day before my birthday in March, I had called a best friend in Wyoming. I was lonely, scared, not sure what to do. She had expert experience in some of what I was going through, so I called her for advice. I was devastated at her reaction. She was so down on the medical profession and, now, I know, also very fearful, that she just castigated me in the most horrible fashion. I had no energy and finally hung up on her. As far as I was concerned, she was no longer my friend and I would never speak to her again.

Her terrible, judgemental words haunted me for weeks. I couldn't sleep, I kept thinking of what I would have said in refutation if I'd only been able to think clearly and quickly. For at least a month, I was constantly going over what was said, what could've been done, and asking Roger for his advice and support about the whole thing, besides going to the therapist a couple of times. Eventually, I wrote a letter to her which I just saved and never sent. Gradually I began to improve and I was able to let go the terrible pain of our parting, but every once in a while I would go back and reread my letter to her. This Christmas I almost sent her a card which I would simply sign, "We're still sisters," but I just couldn't bring myself to make the first step. I was still sad and hurt in my heart and, just a little bit stubborn because I felt she was much more at fault than I and that she should take the first step.

One of her ex-boyfriends, who remains a best friend of hers, always sends me a Christmas card. He always writes, "Thanks for being a friend to XXXXX." This year I was dreading receiving his card. I thought I might have to write back and let him know I was no longer her friend. Those of you who know me well, know that I try to be as forgiving as possible and it is not a common thing for me to sever a friendship.

Before I received his card this year, I received a card from her. In it, she had written the most heartfelt, insightful apology in which she bared her soul, revealing just how afraid she had been not only that she might lose me through death, but also fearful of her own vulnerabilities. She writes beautifully and what she wrote was directly from her heart. I would love to share some of it with you, but it really needs to be read as a whole and I feel it is too private for that. It is a most profound thing, though, and I hold it in my heart with joy and thankfulness.

Just after I read it, I telephoned her. We spoke for over an hour, cleared the air, declared our love and support and, most importantly, our understanding of one another. She never expected to ever hear from me, and in fact had said so in her letter. Part of the healing I felt was in the pleasure my calling brought to her. I feel as though I have regained a very special sister–friend, something I had never hoped for.

So that's it. It might not seem so spectacular and heart-wrenching as the other stories, but it is simply one of the best things to happen to me this year and I am gratefull.

luvyakat