The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418 Message #3281770
Posted By: Rapparee
29-Dec-11 - 09:35 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
The CGFM (I get the last two letters mixed up sometimes) is the Commander-In-Chief and Grand Exhausted Ruler Plenipotentiary And Exemplary of the Idaho Legion. She is probably the most decorated veteran I've ever met: sometimes her entire front half will pitch her forward, just from the weight of the medals. Every time this happens she catches herself on the hands and does 100 pushups using only her fingertips for ground contact (well, her toes too). She was once attacked by an angry, mouth-frothing grizzly bear (she was petting one of the cubs) and the bear went into submission when she only looked at it. Afterwards the griz and the cubs followed the CGFM around like puppies and the CGFM would rub their tummies and tussle with them in play. It's said that she one defeated an entire battalion-sized unit of the Taliban with only a water pistol and a Girl Scout knife after parachuting in alone to rescue a bottle of SOCOM CIC's favorite Scotch; she successfully completed her mission by traveling 400 miles through enemy-held territory, eating nothing but ants and termites and drinking nothing except the dew from tree leaves.