MEDLEY: A) I KNOW I'M UNHAPPY, B) SUICIDE SONG, C) GLENVILLE REEL.
As sung by Loudon Wainwright III on "Album II" (1971)


I know I'm unhappy, know things aren't right.
F'rinstance last week I got drunk ev'ry night.
I know that I'm angry; I know I'm afraid.
I rarely make love; I mostly get laid.
And I know I'm unhealthy; no doctor could doubt.
My dreams are all bad and my hair's falling out.


When you get the blues and you want to shoot yourself in the head,
'Tsallright; 'tsallright; go ahead.
Do the monkey; do the pony; do the slop; do the boogaloo twist.
Cut your throat; cut your throat; cut your wrist.
When you tire of worldly toil,
Shuffle off this mortal coil.
Turn your body back to soil.
It's ok; it's ok.
When you get hung up, hang yourself up by your neck.
What the hell; what the hell; what the heck.


Stomp on the moon and spit in the ocean.
Razzamatazz an' I love you.
Holy smokes an' Land o' Goshen
You can do anything that you want to do.

You can sing four songs; you can dance ten dances.
Eat twelve candies; drink eight beers.
Break two rules and take six chances,
Laugh nine laughs and shed three tears.

Eat that watermelon; drink that moonshine.
She's the lady and you're the lord.
A Mail-Pouch chew will keep you in line.
Drive all over in her granddaddy's Ford.

Small talk, big talk, hugs an' kisses,
Strum a little number on the red guitar.
If you want to charm the bonnet off your missus,
Go out and catch a firefly; stick 'im in a jar.

Ah, take off 'er clothes an' throw 'er in the river.
Wash your body an' stick it in the sun.
Give that gal ever'thing you can give 'er.
You can give 'er the bullets if you can give 'er the gun.