Like the elusive particle itself this has been hovering around in the edges of my conciousness for some time so I thought I would share it :)

The Higgs Bosun
(to the tune of "The Handsome Cabin Boy")

Twas in the year of '98 as I very well recall
I shipped aboard a packet lying near the harbour wall
Her name it was the "Richard Higgs" a flying second rate
And being an old seadog, I was rated bosun's mate

We soon did raise the anchor and we left that harbour wall
And when we was well out to sea a strange thing did befall
The captain called all hands on deck and tore us off a strip
Because in all our haste, the bosun hadn't joined the ship!

As through the Bay of Biscay our gallant ship did go
when it came to sails and reefing our lives were full of woe
We ran aloft like good topmen then swore and tore our hair
for when we looked about us, the "Higgs" Bosun wasn't there!

We went our way around the Horn, in driving winds and rain
The lightning flashed, the thunder crashed, we strove with might and main
yet every rope was neatly coiled and not a sail was rent,
"It's as if the Bosun were aboard" the captain did lament

We sailed for Valparaiso and waiting on the quay
We saw "Higgs" Bosun standing there, as live as live could be
But since that time I've wondered, and still do to this day
How he got there before us but didn't pass us on the way?