If you did swan, you wouldn't get it right. You would probably goose instead. You might even crow or start raven...

In short, sir, you are a chuckle-headed dolt, a fizzlewit, a capering dunce, a maleficent cutpurse, a wretch devoid of redeeming qualities, the very antithesis to both puissance and grace, a mere drifting shadow upon the scrofulous sands of time. Get thee hence and trouble me no more.