The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #142889 Message #3295803
Posted By: Bobert
24-Jan-12 - 11:15 PM
Thread Name: BS: The State of the Union
Subject: BS: Bobert's State of the Union Address
My fellow Americans, we are seriously fucked...
So here is my blueprint to move American forward:
First, Iron City Beer will replace the eagle as the national bird...
Second, all rich people will have required to live in the projects for one month a year or have their wealth nationalized...
Third, weed will become the national plant and all American flags will be made from hemp
Fifth, close down 2/3s of the schools and give the kids computers and let them learn at home with a threat that if they don't do their homework and learn their shit that they will duct-taped to a hard metal chair and be left to listen to repeated playing of Bobby Goldsboro's "Honey", over and over and over
Fourth, turn every vacant lot into a community garden...
Eleventh, make weed the national bird...
Eighth, make elected peoples have to pass poligraphs that prove that they ain't had sex with any farm animals within 30 days of running for office...
Tenth, make weed the standard for our currency... $35 an ounce... Fuck paying $50 for a quarter... Heck with gold...
Where am I???
Oh yeah...
Sixth... Sixth, we outlaw bullets... Guns are fine 'cause that will make the NRA happy...