Dear Nate,

Let me take this moment to tell you that you are a lucky man to have found a woman you love. You have also gained a father-in-law. You have to take the bitter with the sweet. That's one of those old sayings and it makes no freakin' sense at all, hence, its probably Irish. The Irish have a lot of those "words of wisdom to live by" and you are going to hear them all repeatedly from Mick. Take a couple of No-Doze before you visit with him.

On the plus side, many of these 'Pearls of Potato Philosophies' will be served up in a language you don't understand called Gaelic. It has a unique sound like a kind of cross between Norwegian and Cockney Rhyming Slang between spoken by a constipated yak. So when he finally comes to the end just nod in agreement with an amazed expression. He'll think you understand and are marvelling at the brilliance of this folk wisdom when in fact you'll be wondering why the hell anyone would learn a language so bizarre.

There will be times that Mick will speak to you in English and my best advice to you there would be to keep your questions simple. Even then you have to be careful. I wanted to set my watch once and asked Mick what time it was. By the time he finished telling me, the battery in my watch was dead and the Cubs had won the Series. In all fairness, Mick measures his words carefully. Hell Nate, he had one sentence alone that measured 67 miles in helvetica size 12 without the spaces.

Now if I might give a large bearhug and wee kiss to both you and your lovely bride, I'll have a large shot of Jack and slide over there with the other 'Catters before Mick tells one of those lame and aging jokes. I assume you've heard all three of them by now so you know what I mean.

Spaw