"Season Tickets"

Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband
was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst
out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a
classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap
his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."

"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his
magazine.

Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a
season ticket?"

"Absolutely not," he said.

"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."

"Season's more than half over," he said.


------------------------


"Dating"

A father said, "Son, the object of dating is to SCORE!
And to do that, you have to give the woman
something. So when you pick up your date later,
make sure you have some flowers or chocolates
to give her. Girls go crazy over that stuff. The more
you give, the more you get!"

So, the son showed up for his date with flowers AND
chocolates. She was very flattered and pleased, and
she rewarded him with a long, passionate kiss. She
pressed her chest against him and rubbed her fingers
through his hair, hoping to give him the best kiss that
he had ever received.

After the kiss, he turned and bolted for the door.

"Oh! I am sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to scare you
away."

"You didn't!" he replied. "I am going out to get you
some jewelry!"