Greetings. We have been long absent from this region but have now returned. We will be taking some of your fellows so that we may improve the taste of your DNA. We would like volunteers first. Would any of you care to volunteer? The procedure causes only mild pain and when it is finished we assure you that we will hygienically dispose of whatever remains. Unfortunately we will not be able to tell those who may share mitochondrial DNA with you.

If you volunteer you will be rewarded by knowing that you will have improved the taste of the DNA of your race.

Thank you.