The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #142958   Message #3297835
Posted By: maeve
28-Jan-12 - 10:05 AM
Thread Name: Help Fix My Song... Songwriters???
Subject: RE: Help Fix My Song... Songwriters???
That observation was in reference the culprit verse and #4, by the way.

My son, he's got some questions.
We sat beneath that same oak tree
There behind the old school house,
I told him how he came to be.

You might think about the spoken rhythm of the verses, too. 'Course they don't need to be cookie-cutter perfect, but it may be that in playing with wording you'll find other solutions for the problem verse.