Let's face it: Shakespeare is fuddy duddy and morris dancing and all that hey nonny no stuff don't cut the mustard in this modern age.
Forget tradition. Danny Boyle should be using his own works that have made him famous to present a proud picture of modern Britain.
For instance, visitors to the games could arrive in an apparently deserted London then be savaged by flesh-eating zombies.
They could be taken on tours of derelict stations to meet colourful dossers, drunks and drug addicts.
They could be introduced to queues of would-be slumdog millionaires who feel that with the shattered economy their only chance of the good life is to win a TV quiz or talent show.
Any surviving tourists could be killed for their money then buried in shallow graves
Meanwhile, anyone who wants to miss the opening ceremony will surely be at Cambridge.
PS What a shame they got Seb Coe to run the Olympics and not Pete Coe.