Notes and lyrics copied from Labor Notes, Feb. 1988, page 11:

Broadway may not have spawned much labor music, but it has given us some fine tunes that can be put to good use with a few creative adjustments. It's a pretty adaptable style since sheet music is usually readily available at libraries or music stores, and the melodies are already familiar to many people.

The Pipets, a 12-member employee singing group of the Harvard Union of Clerical and Technical Workers, put together this great parody of Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend for their organizing drive. Although it's written for a specific situation, the words can easily be generalized or adapted to your own work situation. (See, for example, a more generic version of the introduction at the end of the song.)

I first heard the Pipets sing this song at last summer's Great Labor Arts Ex- change in Washington, D.C., where their vampy rendition brought the overflow crowd to its feet.

The Pipets now have two fund-raising tapes-Unions Are a Woman's Best Friend, and Step By Step. Both are available for $6 by writing to HUCTW, 67 Winthrop St., Cambridge, MA 02138 or by calling (617) 661-8289. [This information may be out of date.]


UNIONS ARE A WOMAN'S BEST FRIEND

INTRO: Harvard University, the best college in the nation,
But those inside its ivy walls see naught but exploitation.

1. A pat on the head can be quite condescending.
Unions are a girl's best friend.
Prestige may be grand but it won't help you renting
An expensive flat
Or help you at the Laundromat.
The boss grows cold
When we grow bold
'Cause he knows that we're right in the end.
The things that we're seeking
Don't need his critiquing.
Unions are a girl's best friend.

2. There may come a time when a lass needs more money.
Unions are a girl's best friend.
There may come a time when your boss says "Hey honey,
Gee, you're awful nice."
But ask for dough and it's no dice.
It's no crime
To do comp time,
Skip your lunch, take his trousers to mend.
As long as those louses
Treat us like their spouses
Unions are a girl's best friend.

3. Three hundred fifty years of patriarchy,
Unions are a girl's best friend.
Now we say "Enough o this sexist malarkey!"
Harvard, you ain't poor,
So hear us roar, "We want some more!"
They can croon
The same old tune
Long as rules are so easy to bend.
But they'll croon a new one
When we have a union.
Unions are a woman's best friend!
- - -
Generic version of introduction:
Our office is quite up-to-date, the best in all the nation.
But those inside its gleaming walls see naught but exploitation.