Stuart - dear friend and with deepest respect - I think it's pretty obvious where Suibhne is coming from in his posts on the 'dementia' thread. The thought of being sung at by well-intentioned people who think they know what you would like to hear - when you're incapable, or almost incapable of resisting the experience - can be quite horrendous.

My dear mother - now nearly 90 and totally incapable of movement or recognition of anything (as far as we know) - has spent a few years out of this communal musical experience, being totally immobile and, we think, vegetative. Before she became completely immobile, she endured a few years of being wheeled into a mildly urine-scented lounge while earnest, kindly people sang songs she had no interest in. Just a minor change from the incessant background television that blethered away all day.

But who knows what she thought now, because she gives no clue as to what thoughts, if any, are passing through her head.

I'd rather fall over pissed, crack my skull, have a brain haemmorhage and die alone in my bed in my flat - not found for 6 weeks - than go through the hell of dementia. This happened to a hard-drinking mate of mine just recently - died quickly and with no fuss. I know which going I'd prefer.

Which brings me back to the thread topic: singing live in the context of the other thread may well be boring and reductive for the poor buggers being exposed to it. Let's hope it isn't. Singers - don't just assume that because you're doing something you think is worthy, that it actually is.