What JiK said about starting from the tip and working upwards when combing/brushing is true. I had and my kids had very thick very kinky hair. I used to hide when Mom pulled out the hair brush.

Hope you find products and methods that are reasonable for you both. When he is a bit older and his hair longer you may want to look at cornrowing as a management method. Though I am told that it can cause headache in some people.