There is absolutely nothing "random" about little old ladies at the mall, and they don't in the least resemble ants.

The paths taken by a majority of them are completely and perfectly predicted from the simple fact that their feet hurt. Careful observation will show that in the vast percentage of cases, each path is divided into short segments, each segment of which will always take them from "near one sitting place" to within a very specifically predictable distance of the next available "sitting place," so that in case they decide they need to sit for a while they will be within a short distance of an appropriate place and will not need to stop and look for a next place to stop and rest.

(Stopping and looking at anything can be quite hazardous for little old ladies due to the ubiquitous presence - especially in malls - of young $@%#^$ !!!!! who feel compelled to "help" at the slightest suggestion that someone who quite probably taught them how to wipe their own ass and wipe the drool of their chins (both often unsuccessfully) might be an opportunity for some brownie points if they annoy them with inane !$@@%#!! suggestions and offers of unneeded and unwanted "help.")

A comprehensive study of the consistency of "wanders" of little old ladies and little old men was conducted decades ago by a young $@%# @%&^*# $@%!! who intended to survey whether little old men stop more frequently at the windows of gadget shops or at Victoria's Secret. Failing to recognize that a majority of little old men look a lot like little old women, and that the converse is also quite frequently the case, it was necessary to repeat the surveys multiple times before the particular researchers learned to make an accurate distinction. As a consequence of the repeated studies, and the massive amounts of "data" collected as a result, additional distinctive categories were introduced and separately analysed (albeit mostly incompetently). The resulting papers represent the best known source for accurate predictions of crowd movements in malls in general, and are used by a majority of commercial advertisers.

Only an illiterate YOUNG #@!$!% could possible be sufficiently unaware of those results to even think of "making fun" of old ladies on the flimsy excuse that it's an attempt at "humor." (Probably some young punk not even eligible for Medicare, or whatever passes for the equivalent in his/her (one can never tell) obviously backward "culture" (a euphemism). It is assured that his/her feet will hurt too, should the smart*ss person reach "the age of maturity," which is quite unlikely to happen if he/she doesn't quit having Bubba (or Emmylou) hold his/her beer in order to engage in frequent "macho (or butch?) activities."

John