He's dead, and his tissues showed alcohol poisoning. What wasn't mentioned because it's still under investigation are the 487 bullet holes in his body, the 93 stab wounds, the noose around his neck, and the plastic bag tied tightly around his head. The RCMP originally listed the death as "accidental" but are now saying it was "self-inflicted." "Boy oh boy," said Constable Wrightly, a source who wishes to remain anonymous, "it almost looks as if he had help committing suicide!"

The death was confirmed by a DNA comparison with his sister, Chinga, and various pieces of old blood-stained clothing found in his "office." There is no doubt that Chongo Chump committed suicide, probably because of his deep remorse about the way he treated his mother and sister.