The "chafing gear"??? You dock your schooner by settin' out chafing dishes and the ship's silver from the Wardroom? Ain't you afraid the dock rats in Papeete or Sandy Ego will steal it or at least scratch it?

Chongo, a real fight goes like this, because you obviously don't know. I'm assuming you're fighting a right-handed person.

1. Move in close, turning slightly to your left as you do to protect your "groin".
2. Blocking with your left arm, slam the bottom of the palm of your right hand against your opponent's chin while at the same time shoving your fingers into his/her eye sockets, grabbing the lower orbits of the skull and pushing backwards.
3. As you do #2, above, sweep your right leg behind her/his calves. Your opponent will fall to the floor.
4. Jump with all your weight onto the middle of his or her chest. Jump up and down a couple of times just to hear the ribs crunch.
5. Go wash your hands and, if you feel like it, call an ambulance so they can call a hearse.

Elapsed time: about 20 seconds, not counting the phone call. Add ten seconds or so if the person has a gun or knife, add thirty seconds if you want to roll them after they're out of commission.