Excellent topic, and John Hardly poses some real concerns. I just finished my tour of duty caregiving an Alzheimer's Dad, and it was very easy to patronize him. But I found that he responded to marginally child-like tones, and often switched off my attempts to "treat him like an adult." Eventually I realized that the problem was mine: I couldn't accept the disparity between who he was before and where he was ending up. As a teacher, I slowly learned how to "talk down" to students without sounding so, and I tried mightily to walk that line with dad. He retained his most of his tastes and preferences and his sense of humor, but all was greatly simplified within his mind. It is a crushing thing for a son to watch, but that doesn't make his needs go away. "Music therapy" is as valuable for these folks as it is for any of us. I congratulate those who have enough courage and dedication to reach out to them. Perhaps Mudcatters should designate a day and all of us grab our guitars, etc. and descend on local Nursing Homes.