What a lot of great songs! What a talented crew we have!

Here's my attempt:

A Great Big Hog is Flying to Town
(to the tune of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town")

You better watch out
The next time you fly
There's livestock on board
But I don't know why
A great big hog is flying to town

She's running amok
Up there in first class
And leaving us gifts
From out of her ... bum
A great big hog is flying to town

She was okay when she was sleeping
But then she came awake
The attendants are having coronaries
How much more can those gals take?

She's taking a shit
And checking the food
Saying "hi" to the pilot
(She hates to be rude)
A great big hog is flying to town

The folks in Philadelphia
Must've had a lobotomy
They boarded a big barnyard pig
But not in Economy!

So you better watch out
When we touch down
Watch where you step
Or your shoes will turn brown
A great big hog is flying to town!

©2000 Alex E. Riggle. All Rights Reserved