Passengers will please refrain from copulating on the train
While standing on the platform here at Crewe
Please restrain this natural function 'till we get to Clapham Junction
Where you'll find there's f**k all else to do


I find those lyrics somewhat confusing. I've had to break my journey at Crewe numerous times. I can hardly believe that there is less to do at Clapham Junction than at Crewe! (unless you're an avid trainspotter!)