Yup. It doesn't mean turning yourself into a doormat. I've seen the man I spoke of bring people up short a couple of times when they were not behaving properly....and he was very decisive about it...and they definitely got the message. But he didn't stop loving them or valuing them. He just made them aware that their behaviour at that moment was not acceptable. This is a matter of judging the behaviour itself, not the person.

We have to know when to speak out. That's part of the path to freedom. As your mother said, "never allow the situation to recur".