Fancy shmancy new store-bought server arrives in the morning. Will take a couple days, maybe just one if I don't play with my kids, to get up and running, but we're close gang. I appreciate your patience, I'll make it up to all of you I promise, and we'll be tip top before you know it, it's assured.

In the meantime, that is to say: to pass the time, may I suggest switching underpants with your spouse for the evening and/or doing something you've never done before... or doing something you do in a venue you've never done it in before... that is to say: do something stupid.

Empower your whimsy, disarm regret, bend over willfully, cheerfully, for consequence and go out and make a memory that you and your spouse will awkwardly chuckle about till your end of days. Then we all win.

If your spouse is unwilling, call them a fuddy duddy, then bath, groom and dress in your finest means and manner, telephone the silliest person you know and take them out and do the smooshy ice cream dance.

If you do not have a spouse, practice saying yes in the mirror a few times and just generally having an affirmative attitude for several minutes, perhaps a snort or two from the vanilla extract bottle in the cupboard, then make that call you've been thinking about a lot lately. What the hell? It's mudcat tradition, you're just being a supportive member of the community and it's quirky traditions. Forgiveness is built in, whadaya got to lose?

If it all goes haywire, just abort the mission and start talking about what a wanker I am, and maybe drink the almond extract. And if it goes well, I just got you laid. You are welcome.

I do this sort of stuff every chance I get and look how well adjusted, patient, prudent and content I am.

You may now return to your version of reality.