The main flippin' reason why there are more flippin' earthquakes happenin' is becoz of women!

Yeah, you hearn me right, eh? Women are to blame. And I will tell you why.

It is a known fact that when a woman experiences, like, real powerful orgazisms that it can cause major earth tremmors. Everybody knows that...it is a known fact, and I ain't boastin', but I have SEEN it!

So...the thing is that back in the older tradishonal days the women were, like, sorta more strate-laiced than now and they were not havin' near as much sex as they do NOW! Things are gettin' WAY outta hand lately with all the internet porn and stuff that is avaylable to women as well as men.

Trust me on this. I been lookin' through a lotta windows late at night in this town (doin' reseerch for a book that I plan to right soon) and there is a lotta, like, necturnal activity happenin' out there that would curl yer hair! The girls these days got no flippin' shame at all, eh? They are, like, usin' vegetables...machines...youse would not flippin' bee-LEEV the things I have seen, eh? How are us men supposeta deal with this sichuation?

So...when ya got millions of these here young women that are engagin' in them kinda solidary activities on a flippin' nightly bases it can cause fault lines to, like, bust wide open! The hole flippin' west coast is in dyre perril becoz of this, coz the Vancouver and California girls are the absolute flippin' WORST!

Somethin' has got to be done about it.

- Shane