I once had a pupil called Dwayne Pipe. His mum was a teacher and should have known better. I also had, both in the same class, Paul Small and Mark Clark. And (this is perfectly true) an Ophelia Balls. The oddest name was a little lad called Starshone. His proud (hippy) Dad explained that when he was born, he lifted him to the hospital window and the first thing he saw was a star in the sky. I privately thought it was a jolly good thing he didn't see a pooch doing a poo, or he'd have been called Dogshit!