theleveller: "Being a Mudcat 'regular', now takes on a whole new meaning....or is that a 'hole' new meaning??"
As, indeed, does the Beatle's song 'We Can Work It Out'."

Have you considered using a corkscrew?...then you'd have fun with a hole new twist! Chubby Checker would be revived!
"Come on Baby, let's do the twist...."
and for constipation, you can you could repeat the chorus of 'Twistin' the Night Away'!!!"
"Let's twist away, like we did last summer..."
"Twist and Shout..work it on out"..."and it goes like this..you go round and round and round..."

and after you make a mess, you can start 'Slip Slidin' Away'...but at least you can consider yourself a 'little hipper'!.

Regards,(but change you shoes before getting on the dance floor and doing the 'Mash'!....and for the victims of constipation, "The Monster Mash"

GfS