OMG! Just when I thought it was safe to walk the streets, I'm watching a BBC2 (UK) TV documentary called "Coast: - and they're talking about "bottom-feeding" fish!

Jesus! Can't I walk down the street in safety without some guppy or salmon or - heaven forfend - some bloody mudcat nibbling at my arse (UK-speak for ass)?

Leave me alone - my arse is mine to do with as I want. You're not having it.

No sea-bathing for me this year... Is nothing sacred - not even my cheeks?