The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #14148   Message #3332932
Posted By: GUEST,LMH
03-Apr-12 - 06:53 AM
Thread Name: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
Subject: RE: Why shouldn't you marry a musician?
I read almost all the pasts and there's a little bit of truth in almost all of them. I met my husband when I was in the Air Force and he was playing in a bar in Great Falls, Montana. That was 34 years ago. It was really tough. The first 5 years were the worst. My husband has a lot of insecurities and masks them behind his bass guitar. However, before he married me he told me he'd quit the road and get a job. He did and has been a fantastic provider ever since. I so appreciate that about him. But when he plays he is always tempted by drugs, alcohol and women. Bars are not family or marriage family places. My husband almost ended up an alcoholic at one point early on and when you're drunk and in a place that is filled with people with loose morals it is not a good mix. So there was infidelity too. And drugs. But thankfully, when we were separated and heading for divorce, I became a Christian and God miracuously reconciled us and I am happy for it as my husband (and I) have really changed and grown. Musicians can be very selfish - if they're into drugs, drinking and women - all addicts are selfish and immature? But not all musicians are addicts - some restrain themselves and keep clean - but it's hard when temptation is always knocking at the door. I think it's more about the 'wanting to escape into another world where everybody likes you, respects you and admires you because in the 'real' world you're really nobody special - that causes most of the problems. Like everyone else, musicians have a void that only God can fill. When we realize this we don't have to work so hard at proving to the world that we are a somebody.