"Vegetable"

A man and his wife are sitting in the living
room and he says to her, "Just so you know,
I never want to live in a vegetative state
dependent on some machine. If that ever
happens, just pull the plug."

"Okay," says his wife as she gets up and
unplugs the TV.

---------


"The Game"

Nothing rattles my father-in-law, especially
when the St. Louis Cardinals are on TV.

One day we were watching a game, when
my mother-in-law shrieked from the kitchen,
"Jim, there's a horsefly in here!"

Not taking his eyes off the screen, he barked
back, "Give it some cough syrup."