"In" is a different position in some groups. Some circles require money, 'connections', family status...etc. Some merely require interest, awareness of the rights & sensibilities of others and being willing to SAY something or DO something at appropriate times.

I arrived in the Wash. DC 'folk' scene in 1977. I sang at a couple of open mics, went to concerts, smiled at people... and tried to learn what 'the rules' were.
By the end of my 2nd year, I was asked to be on planning committes and was being invited to parties.... in spite of being only a minor and moderate musical talent.

Even with that 'success', there were 'inner' circles that I was NOT a part of... though I knew most of the 'members' on a friendly basis......... but I soon was part of other circles...some of which overlapped.

Now.... I say all this only in hindsight, for at the time I was not attempting to "get in"... but just enjoying being around. I am sure that IF I had been a serious, talented musician, I would have had other opportunities.

It's kinda like the item distilled from the Hippocratic Corpus... "First, do no harm."