In an attempt to attract voters' attention today and make them forget entirely about Rick Santorum AND Mitt Romney, Chongo dropped 150 feet from a large tree in a Chicago park. He did it to show that "I can land on my feet and roll with the punches".

"If Romney had dropped outta this tree, he'd be in intensive care," said Chongo. "If Obama had dropped outta this tree, they've have hadda take him off on a stretcher and call fer a chiropractor. If Santorum had dropped outta this tree, he'd have broke into about a hundred thousand little pieces, and if that idiot Gingrich had dropped outta this tree, he'd have made a big hole about halfway to China! If Joan Baez had dropped outta this tree...she'd probably have been fairly much okay, maybe just a small bruise or a scrape...but she ain't runnin' for president, so it's a moot point."

He went on to say, "What America needs now is a president who can drop outta really tall trees, fall down whole sets of stairs, make incredible errors in judgement, and not even get a bruise or a scrape in the process. That president is me, Chongo Chimp. I can take a fall and come up 'swingin'."

He then handed out free bananas and kazoos to an ecstatic crowd of several hundred cheering supporters who followed him down the street to Duffy's Bar, playing the Star Spangled Banner on their kazoos and chanting: "Chongo is the One! Chongo is the One!"

Yes, it's once again election time in America, folks...just like good ol' Groundhog Day in Punxatawney all over again...and serious, substantive dialogue is what we can be sure to get plenty of in these enlighted times. ;-D