I hate it when I've composed the perfect lead in my head and when I sit here to start writing the post it's just gone...

Charlie -- upper GI gastritis (which they didn't tell me about at the time) and 3 polyps in the bowel which were taken care of. No sign of bleeding -- they seem to think the blood came from the gastritis. Took a bunch o' blood to fill him back up again.

Mary, he was doing great with his physical therapy when this problem hit and stole a week away from rehab. It was just so damned unnecessary!

When I talked to Tom before bedtime last night, he was very unhappy. His dinner was less than optimal (granted they'd thrown something together for him because he'd just gotten there) and, after the "evaluation" he suspected some of what they are doing or have planned for him is more concerned with sucking money from Medicare than helping get Tom on his feet again (literally).

I slept disjointedly last night, but I may have actually worked some stuff out while I was lying there awake (with a purring cat in my face and another on top of me). One is that I can't let things get out of our control like last week. If that means I have to be rude, forceful and aggressive, so be it. I cannot assume that just because they are medical people that they know what they are doing and that it is best for Tom. Second is I need answers, a plan, more information and I NEED IT NOW!!!

Tom's problems of the past four weeks are not the result of his broken ankle but of the medical/rehab system. (ICU psychosis, his internal bleeding setback of the past week and the time it took to address it). He needs to get HOME where he can sleep well and eat well (bad food and lack of dentures has taken its toll -- he's lost 15 pounds) and be in familiar surroundings. He needs to be able to get to the dentist and get the new dentures in the works.

What he does NOT need is an open-ended plan with no goal set for release and the establishment not communicating their plans with either of us. I am fucking fed up!!! Even when I ask, I've not been given answers. Nobody seems to actually KNOW anything.

I've got to call NH ServiceLink for advice on Monday -- and Tom's primary care, and the social worker at Clipper Harbor and whoever else I can think of. (Again, I'll be working Monday, but I won't be alone, so it's do-able.)

I've got to find out who, exactly, I have to talk to at Langdon Place today. And I'm laying down the law -- Tom polishes the skills he needs to get in and out of the house and car THIS WEEK. And he's released to home by the end of the week. Or I want some pretty strong reasons why not.

Now that he's not losing blood hand over fist, his energy and outlook are still very good and he desperately wants to get on with life. He has plans to work on the writing projects he's got going and other things that need to be done. He needs to be at home with me and I need him to be home with me.

You know, I've been with Tom through a lot of medical stuff. This has been by far the worst. Much worse than his heart surgery (replaced aortic valve, repaired tricuspid, double bypass, defibrillator installation -- valve job, tune-up and some electrical work and now he'll never play football again). Far, far worse than the cancer surgery, the loss of his voice, his vision loss and vascular adventures. I can handle a lot, but it's the unnecessary bullshit that's really getting to me.

Linn