Let me have your thoughts on this.

My thoughts are that you are describibg what I call perfect Ally Behavior, in my work. It reminds me of the smartest thing I ever heard an anti-racism workshop presenter say: "Whatever your heritage-- when all you see is white people around you, it just oughtta make ya kinda itchy." She may not have meant what YOU mean or what SUSAN means, but it's in the same boat, eh. It's also related to reparations work in which I am involved personally, with an anticipated bequest.

~Susan