I ATE THE BALONEY is not exactly "politically correct" but still funny. I have the original Billy Murray 78 rpm record and as far as I can tell the words go like this:

A-hunting we will go.
A-hunting we will go.
A-hunting we will go.

The country air is rich and rare; it stimulates the mind.
We long to be there in a Morris chair with the folks we left behind.
We used to plow and milk the cow, but now and then we'd stop
To listen to guys who were telling lies in the village barber shop.

Oh, we remember a story.
We remember a story,
And now this little story
We're going to tell to you.

An Italian, a Hebrew, an Irishman once in search of recreation,
Took enough provisions along to spend a vacation.
They got lost way out in the woods; it was dark and lonely.
All their food gave out except one piece of baloney.

Someone shouted, "I got a knife, but there's no use of carving.
If we do there isn't enough to keep us from starving."
"We keep-a de baloney a while, a-what-a you say?" says Tony.
"You let-a me try and-a stay awake and I watch the baloney."

"Nothing doing, Tony me boy; it might be too inviting.
Never mind; now listen, mein pal; please stop all this fighting.
I suggest we'll all go to bed so there's nothing phony,
And the one who has the nicest dream wins the baloney."

(Yawning sounds)

"I joost-a had a nice-a dream I think this morning about at seven.
I dream I'm-a die and go up-a stairs-a to heaven.
I go right through the pearly gates on a nice-a white-a pony.
You no can-a beat a dream like dis, eh, Mike-a? Poosh over the baloney."

"Not so fast, me bucko; I had quite a dream meself; I died from overeating.
I went up to heaven and then, oh, what a greeting!
Old Saint Peter smilingly said: 'If it ain't me old friend Moloney!'
Now you can't beat a dream like that, so I win the baloney."

"Don't push! Take your time, please; will you?

"I want to say, I'll have to admit, I know you aren't lying,
For I dreamt that both of you died and, oh, how I was crying!
You vent up to heaven and then, vhile I felt so lonely,
I dreamt you wasn't coming back, so I ate the baloney."