The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #3340383
Posted By: Little Hawk
19-Apr-12 - 10:02 AM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Ah...they're onto us! Too late, suckers! A billion Dachshunds can't be stopped. (no more than a million budgies)

You asked, "are there any cultural or historic artifacts there that would bar such a course?"

Yes. The Stephen Leacock Home. The Orillia Opera House. The Champlaine Monument, and most important of all...the William Shatner School of BAAAAD Acting, located just outside town off Highway 11. It's a lovely campus.

The there's also the historic fire hydrant that Belch Senior used to pee on every morning when he went out to do the rounds. Belch Senior was Orillia's most famous Dachshund. He used to parade around town in the 1920s and '30s, before the war. He was a Dachshund of unusual style and ability, and he smoked cigars! No word of a lie, as Shane would say. Belch would amble over to the smoke shop on Mississauga Street and the owner would give him a cigar. Those were the days when dogs could freely wander about downtown, and no one cared...long gone, alas! At any rate, Belch would walk around with the cigar in his mouth and approach a passerby and give him a commanding look, whereupon the man would stoop down and light the cigar. Belch would then smoke the stogie ostentatiously for the next 15 minutes or so, simultaneously horrifying and impressing all the other dogs, who were not fond of the smoke, but nevertheless acutely aware of the fact that Belch had upstaged them dramatically. He ruled the downtown. He got free sausages from the butcher. He got his face on the front page of the Orillia Packet & Times on numerous occasions. He may well have been the most famous dog of his time. Belch Senior passed away on Christmas Day, 1939, and is buried in the old Catholic Cemetary. One of his numerous progeny, Belch Junior, went on to have a starring role on CBC radio in the 1940s and 50s, playing dogs on various radio suspense and adventure shows. He seamlessly impersonated mountie's faithful German Shepherd companions by barking heroically into the microphone at appropriate times.