"Congratulations on your experience. It's the sort everyone should have."

It was one of those defining moments in my life, and like you say Rap everyone should experience it.

As for the bear spray . . . ah well, I might as well confess.

We purchased a can of bear spray from a shop in Buffalo, Wyoming on our way to Yellowstone (along with a rather fine stetson). When we started the hike we got up into the woods and the trail was empty, so I decided to test the spray. I checked the wind direction, stood so I could squirt downwind and pressed the nozzle . . . and consequently got a face full of spray as the wind (which I'd misjudged) blew it straight back into my face.

Cue utter havoc. I was instantly blinded, unable to breath properly and totally bloody helpless. My wife then grabs me and we trot off up the trail with her leading me (I couldn't open my eyes for love nor money) as she herself spluttered through the cloud of pepper. When we got far enough away she poured water in my eyes and eventually I could see again. I felt like a right tit.

Suffice to say had I sprayed that at a grizzly we came across then he would have had a nice, helpless fat brit incapable of offering any resistance for his supper. Although we laughed, we realised this was not a game and took it all a bit more seriously after that. Typical townies I guess.

As for those tosspots poaching the game, the mind boggles. Must be something to do with having to prove their manhood.