If you comply with my demands I won't smarm on you next Tuesday.
First off, I want a photo of bobert and GfS hugging.
Second, I want a whole day of no fighting.
Third, I want a damned cambric shirt.

One all of these conditions have been met... I'll think of some more, because...

We shall all smarm together when we smarm
It really will not do you any harm
You deserve a birthday treat
Just watch out for Catspaw's feet
He'll try to ring your chimes to sound alarm
It won't be a sing-the-bluesday
But a spread-the-happy-newsday
When I come back on Tuesday, and I smarm.