"Lead Foot"

My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised
when a state trooper pulled us over as we were
driving through Georgia. Hoping to get off with
a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked when
he walked up to the car.

"I have never been stopped like this before," she
said to the officer.

"What do they usually do, ma'am," he asked,
"shoot the tires out?"

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Quote du Jour

"God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't
know how to play funny."
-- Garrison Keillor

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"Ohio"

Apparently I tend to brag too much about my
home state of Ohio. One day I told a long-
suffering friend, "You know, the first man in
powered flight was from Ohio. The first man
to orbit the earth was from Ohio. And the first
man on the moon was from Ohio."

"Sounds like a lot of people are trying to get
out of Ohio," he observed.