Mom stumbled into the Legion Hovel last evening. Ikey told her she couldn't come it so she threw him over the river and into the woods. Stanley tried to kick her in the face with his calked boots; he's walking like he's in considerable pain now and a shoelace is dangling from his...ah...posterior. She then de-pants the entire bouncer squad and threw them outside, where they landed in front of the good nuns of the Convent of Our Lady of the Divine Figure, some of whom had to be hospitalized with "unceasing giggles." Since no one else seemed to care if she was in the Hovel or not, she drank up the entire stock of beer -- the entire railroad tank car! -- tore down the front porch "because it's so darned UGLY!!" and took over the entire second floor as her "boudoir" for "as long as I want it, IF you don't mind" (said as she rather forcibly evicted Slimy Sammy through an (open) second floor window.

She told the Legionnaires that they'd better get another car of beer up there before she woke up, as she might be "a trifle thirsty."