The song is called "For Maine" and I sing it. I heard a few people singing it years ago, including Therapy, and learned the words from Ian Mackintosh.

FOR MAINE [Mame?]
Fort and Hutchins

I had a girl, her name was Maine,
She treated me just right.
I wined her and I dined her,
Courted her almost every night;
I offered to buy her some fancy jewellery,
I must admit, I was taken back a bit,
By what Maine said to me.

She said,
The only thing I want from you my friend,
If I cannot be your wife;
is a five bladed, nickel plated, pearl handled pocket knife.

Well I introduced Maine to some of my friends,
They really had a fling.
One guy she charmed him, completely disarmed him,
Treated that guy just like a king;
He offered to buy her a a fancy ruby ring;
No, she said, Joe, she said, put away your dough, she said,
And she began to sing;

She sang,
The only thing I want from you my friend,
If I cannot be your wife;
is a five bladed, nickel plated, pearl handled pocket knife.

Some time later I discovered that Maine had ten cases filled with knives,
I said Maine, what a dope? She told me told me plain,
That is my chest of hope;
You see I'm saving for the future, for some old rainy day,
When my lovers are gone and I'm all alone,
And getting old and grey.

Cos I know what a young boy scout'll do, to prolong my active life,
For a five bladed, nickel plated, pearl handled pocket knife.

A five bladed, nickel plated, insulated, lubricated, pearl handled pocket knife!



I have no idea who wrote it, and would love to know. (I wanted to include it on a live album but at the time we couldn't ascertain PRS niceties, so remains unrecorded by me, although I often knock it out at folk clubs. (Mind you, in these days of political correctness, I have had adverse comments afterwards!)